ISO: Healer Needed

(Written in a "Spoken Word" format)

"To the pure in heart, all things are pure."

A simple quote, yet it ricochets around in the corners of my mind. 

I want to write back, "Yes, but this is how I'm taken advantage of." 

Because I never see it coming. 

I simply, don't. think. like. they. do. 

"Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God" 

and yet the world repeatedly slaps me in the face with itself 

and I have to weigh that which is set before me, 

the "pure and impure" has become 

"the knowledge of good and evil." 

What a bitter fruit it can be to taste, and to swallow, 

when I never wanted any of it. at. all. 

And then what do you do in the wake of the World? 

When the pure of thought has been recklessly invaded 

and those who lived for love now must weigh-in someone else's hate? 

And I've been there as the one bruised, 

blinking back tears to the corners of my eyes, 

dripping into the dried dust beneath 

while staring at cloudless skies.  

And I've been there as the one applying pressure 

to the tourniquet of someone else's heart, 

telling them "it will be okay" 

in half white lies and half hopeful truths, 

all the while trying to make sense, 

trying to somehow get. back. to. 

never knowing this kind of hate. 

this kind of pain. 

this kind of, 

waste. 

Why? 

What gives a man the right to 

claim knowledge into another's heart 

and judge what is lacking 

or what is becoming, 

and if that is what is expected, 

or what is disappointing? 

when, 

(if we were ever truly honest with ourselves 

we would see) 

we don't know. our. own. hearts. 

where we are lacking, 

or where we are becoming, 

and if that becoming 

is something worth 

wanting. 

to. 

be. 

And in the midst of all this swirling, 

being the deep thinker that I am 

(and the deep feeler because I'm "sensitive" 

and probably shouldn't feel half the things I do) 

I can't ignore the cries and I can't stop picking up pieces 

and I can't help but notice the bleeding 

and crying with the wounded 

and screaming in indignation, 

and then having the wounded say to me, 

"Forgive them. They don't know what they do."

-blink blink. silence-

 Then I question:

 is it wrong then, to be angry, to be confused. 

Am I mistaken in feeling the things that I do? 

Am I one of the outsiders looking in thinking I'm an insider looking out 

or is there more to this that I'm missing? 

Is there more 

in following the perpetrator, 

in looking in, 

in seeing a black heart crying it's own cries of pain 

with it's own tourniquets bursting at the seams. 

With its own past and its own history, 

that at one time was "pure in heart" 

until it too came to "know both good and evil".

And now that lost heart, trying to self-heal the impossible,

with incapable hands and inadequate ability

and all the while justifying themselves,

the walking wounded

that knows no other way. to. be.

and it's then I see, 

that I realize, 

that I've been there, too.

The one broken down bleeding, 

and not seeing, not perceiving, 

and in that futility, and dire state of small, 

slow-walking death and limited thinking, 

breaking the innocent ones in my own path, 

without realizing what I was doing as I was doing it, 

for my own screams from within 

-drowned out- 

the wailing ones I left behind.

So then, 

how can I apply healing salve 

in one hand, 

and prepare for a stoning 

with. 

the. 

other?

And I look around

 Where does Grace end and where does it begin. 

Where is He in all of this? 

Is it more than picking up jagged pieces and lining cracks to edges,

 piecing together oldness to make newness

in a strange turn of events that originally produced brokenness, 

and trying to understand good from evil 

and why evil is evil 

when really I just want to 

go. 

back. 

to. 

purity. 

and be done with it.

And then I see Him, 

tending both "sides" because isn't it all born of the same?

Pain is pain

however it comes, or exists, subsists or remains.

And I realize all we've both ever really needed-

"the wounded" 

and

"the one wounding" 

is... 

A Healer. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,
and all are justified freely by his grace
through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ."
Romans 3:23

~*~
"We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
And the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:6

~*~
"When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples,
"Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"
On hearing this, Jesus said,
"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
But go and learn what this means, 
'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.' 
For I have not come to call the righteous but sinners."
Matthew 9:11-13

~*~

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3


~*~
"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged
by the law that gives freedom,
because judgement without mercy will be
shown to anyone who has not been merciful.
Mercy triumphs over judgement."
James 2:12-13

~*~
"Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good.
Anyone who does what is good is from God.
Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God."
3 John 1:11

~*~
"Bear with each other and forgive one another
if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Colossians 3:13